Articles by the grump

Why don't girls take a crap?

the grump — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 00:36:43 -0500

When my girlfriend first moved in, I marveled at how she never seemed to use the bathroom when I was around. When she did, the shower water always seemed to be running... I figured she was just shy about using the can.

A brief history of... The Rwandan Genocide

the grump — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 19:21:33 -0500

The Rwandan Genocide was the 1994 mass killing of hundreds of thousands of Rwanda's Tutsis by Hutu militia. Over the course of approximately 100 days, from the assassination of Juvénal Habyarimana on April 6th through to mid July, at least 500,000 people were killed. Most estimates indicate a death toll between 800,000 and 1,000,000.

Drinking and driving joke

the grump — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 20:02:07 -0500

A driver is stopped by a police officer. The driver asks, "What's the problem officer?" Officer: "You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone." Man: "No sir, I was going 65." Wife: "Oh, Harry.

How to tell if your a Redneck

the grump — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 02:42:18 -0400

You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

You think "taking out the trash" means taking your in-laws to a movie.

You take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took.

You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

You live in Alabama...

I'm getting laid tonight

the grump — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 02:40:27 -0400

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms.

The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.

A Priest walks into a bar...

the grump — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 01:31:57 -0400

A priest, in urgent need to use the bathroom, walks into a local bar. The bar is jumping with loud music and lively conversation, but every few minutes the lights abruptly go off. Every time the lights go off, the bar crowd bursts into loud whoops and applause, but when they see the priest enter the bar, the place becomes absolutely quiet.