As educators we have all experienced negative stress associated with conflicts in the classroom. I'm envisioning one of those lively kindergarten days when I am trying to take care of a child who just wet himself while simultaneously being asked by children to open up impossible snack containers. Meanwhile Sue and Cindy are fighting over the rainbow fairy book in the class library both insisting they had it first, and I am just feeling desperate to get the children outside as soon as possible so they can have a few minutes of recess before we have to come back inside and concentrate on math work.

In this moment of stress the easiest response would involve me solving the conflict for Sue and Cindy by simply snatching the rainbow fairy book and making it off limits to both children. This response, however, does nothing to teach the children how to deal with struggle and conflict in the future. Since conflict is inevitable, taking the time to teach children how to solve conflicts can actually reduce your stress as a teacher. SOS is a conflict resolution technique I introduce to the children at the beginning of each school year. If modeled appropriately and practiced consistently, children are often able to solve their own problems and even facilitate the solving of problems between two other children acting as a third party.

Want less classroom conflict and less stress...just teach them SOS!

SOS (Story-Options-Solution)

S- Story

Have both students tell their side of the story/struggle/conflict in a calm voice and without interrupting each other.

O- Options

Ask the children to explore their options for solving the problem. Both children will suggest options until one option is agreed upon by both parties.

S- Solution

The agreed upon option is employed as a solution. If the solution is not working, they go back to the options phase and try to agree on a new option for the solution.

Taking the time to properly address struggles between students seems like a daunting task when one's job responsibilities are already so numerous, but investing in this SOS technique will save time and cause less stress because students learn to take responsibility for their conflicts.

Remember the picture of that lively kindergarten day I painted at the beginning of this blog? This scenario did happen mid year after a great deal of SOS training. Another child, Elliot, saw the conflict between Cindy and Sue and said “I got this one Ms. Boling! You can find some dry clothes and continue opening snack containers and then we will get outside speedy quick!”

By Stephanie Boling