I'm not sure how to begin or even why I'm beginning. I have always had troubles with emotions. I am not a cold heart, but more so someone who tries to act strong for others. But in the day I have become the one in need for that strong shoulder. I believe everyone can relate to losing someone. A friends co-worker or family member. But this situation is bit different. I lost my first high school love. I had many of my firsts with this girl. She took part in many of my high school experiences. Some good and some not so good. As like many high school relationships go we drifted apart. I remember always tell her that I did not need a second Mother. I remember her always trying to tell me what to do and how to act. At the time it was annoying but looking back on it was her failed attempt to show she cared.

    I think the worst part of this is once again reuniting with her. Only it was through a newspaper headline saying she was fatally shot. Her killer was a violent man with a past. Like many killings, she was not his target. She was just there. Smoking killed her.... but not in the way you'd expect. She was outside of the Duke of York tavern on Queen Street East in Toronto. I feel for her family. Her mom and step dad... Her younger brother. As I sit in here so many memories are racing through my mind. I wonder if she knows I'm writing this... I feel it is only right that I not complete this story... As she could not complete her life.