Ah the mixed feelings have continued, and I am here to share!
The date,which was more of an interrigation occured around lunch time today. I find myself watching and judging every move,every decision and every sensitive topic disscussed so intently that I hardly pay attention to my own actions.
The topics were centered around his work,his realationships,his sex drive/capabilities and least of all his family.

Ironically the first thing MY best friend said about this guy when I described him was.."he's selFISH" ( no pun intended!) His best friend said " you two are going to go at it like rabbits!" (apparently not like fish ;P )

Regardless,after the awkward conversations which fell into a far too personal area, the less then great food ( I admit I choose the place), cell phone interuptions on his part we begin the end of the date where I am saying I had a nice time. To which at this point he leans in for the kill and I say "whooooaa not that nice of a time".

I am debating on whether or not I am a frigid prude now that I have been single for such a time that intimacy has become awkward.? Or am I a lady who just doesn't go that far on a first date? 
 I want sparks and smiles and butterflies, fairytales aren't real but they were created from something.I want that something and I'm not willing to settle for someone who doesn't fit that description. So why waste a kiss on lips that don't sizzle? But why not, it is just a kiss?

Well, I didn't allow the kiss to happen, there was an odd version of a hug that left me feeling a little violated that I also didn't respond to. I am comfortable in my own skin...but only in my skin,and apparently incapable of faking affection,no matter how small the intimacy.