Once again I'm swimming in my head, I feel as though this time I'm drowning. Its hard to keep your head above water when your not sure if its worth the struggle; and at that why there is a need to struggle. What if we just let go, let out selves either sink or float? If we stopped treading, would we sink? the fear of drowning produces the treading....but how do we know if we will drown? and who's to say drowning in our thoughts would be a bad thing, maybe that's what we need to do. In my mind I think the waters may be rough and dark, but at the same time cooling, and calming; to know that there's is something stronger inside that you didn't know about. It could be the one place where our past finally fades away, all the loneliness, anguish, contempt, deceit, and love; disappear into the waters. Breaking free and floating away from our anchors. Cleansing you of what holds you in place, unable to move forward; always turning and walking in many repeated footprints. Footprints that are now imbedded in the ground because we once strode so much upon it. We know we need to leave those ones behind and start a new path, Maybe in those uncharted waters of our mind is where we can search for the power to move on. Finding whats left of ourselves, and instead of picking up all the pieces; we must find the courage to leave the broken bits where they lay. Even though we want to be whole, having pieces missing is what makes us who we are; gives us the chance to fill them once again with something better.

By God I need to DROWN, I think I may find my clarity there. The only problem with drowning is, you need to do it alone. The others, they won't understand this. And if they don't, they are some of the pieces that need to be left at your back; with the distance between you and them growing greater by the second. Because our time is precious, and we aren't certain of when that time will be up; our only certainty in this life....is sadly death. So the time in between now and our timeless after, we must strive to be whole, happy, and know that we did our best.