I wanted to vent about my life, and if you care to read or give advice, feel free.

Recently, I've found out that my brother is addicted to coke. Him and his girlfriend broke up and my brother moved back home. He has said that he wants to get clean, but I don't think he is actually doing it. He has a different mindset than everyone else in the world. It's weird.

My mom is another dramatic piece of my life. She is engaged to a guy that is an alcoholic. And because he is one, she has somewhat turned into one as well. She is in denial about my brother and her fiance. This is when I remember that I'm glad I don't live at home.

Next, my best friend, or who I thought was my best friend, of pretty much 20 years just recently sat me down and told me everything that was "wrong" with me. We live together in an apartment (soon to be ending because I'm getting my own place). I struggle with depression, and anyone that hasn't experienced it doesn't know what it's like. It's VERY difficult to live with someone that has depression; so I know that things have been hard for her because of me. But, she told me that I "am always on my computer, stay in my bedroom, get over-angry about things, etc etc etc". Living with a friend doesn't mean that your lives have to be lived TOGETHER. She hurt me so much. Now I will never feel the same about our friendship. I will always feel like I'm walking on eggshells around her to make sure I do things to her specifications.

My dad. He lives a 4 hour drive away. Pretty damn far. I usually only see him once a year. He sent me a birthday card and I called to thank him, no one answered so I left a message and told him to call me back. My birthday was August 10th. It's the 25th.... No phone call. I don't know why because I have always gotten along with my dad. I am a "daddy's girl". I miss him, and it sucks that I can't visit because I can't afford to.

Lastly, I am on a constant search to find someone to call mine. Someone that I can marry, have kids with, make a life with. I'm not a horrible person. I'm nice, I'm alright looking, have a pretty face....I can make people laugh. I'm honest, trustworthy.. you know all the good stuff and I'd make my husband his lunch and dinner. BUT I've been told by everyone that because I'm looking, I'm not going to find what I'm looking for.

On the plus side, I'm moving into my own apartment soon and will be living on my own. I'm really looking forward to starting my life. I have my two kitties that will be coming with me and eventually we'll find someone that might fit with us.

Phew, I feel better now.